I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
