you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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