Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize