We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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