So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
