I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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