he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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