it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
