Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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