I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
