So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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