Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
