Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
