Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
