I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
BRING THE BAGELS
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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