Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
being pregnant is like rehab
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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