apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
