Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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