I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
