I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
