I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Barsexuality is the new black.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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