i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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