It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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