so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
