There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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