I wish you could order shots online.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
