i would punch a child for taco bell
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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