Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
