You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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