Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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