i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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