We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All the doctor said was why
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
