I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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