And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize