Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
