It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
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Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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