Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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