I am puke
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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