i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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