He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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