I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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