I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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