Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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