and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I didn't notice because vodka
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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