Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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