Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
