And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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