We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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