They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish you could order shots online.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
NoShamevember. You game?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
