it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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