ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
