i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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