Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
