she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
