I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just cropdusted the office
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Randomize
