Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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