No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
