I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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